You are always feeling an emotion. We cycle through emotions all day. Some are so mild we don’t notice them. Some are so intense we feel overwhelmed by them. They show up based on what we’re doing or thinking about, who we’re talking to, or where we are.
Emotions are messengers, signaling what we need. Maybe we need to set a boundary (anger) or release our expectations (sadness) or keep doing what we’re doing (happiness). Understanding our emotions guides us to the next best step.
Emotions affect our thinking, decision-making, and actions without our awareness. If our emotional reaction doesn’t fit the situation, and we don’t try to understand and manage our reaction, then it hijacks our thoughts. Our brains ignore or discount information that doesn’t justify what we’re feeling. As a result, we make mistakes, regrettable decisions, or we’re unable to be creative and problem-solve.
Emotions affect productivity. When an emotion is appropriate to a situation, it can motivate us and positively direct our attention—like the focused feeling that comes from mild worry about an upcoming deadline. However, when an emotion is inappropriate, it can distract us and reduce the quality of our work—such as feeling too relaxed about the deadline.
Emotions affect the body. Each emotion elicits its own physical reactions: breathing becoming shallow, heart racing, sweating, numbness, laughing, relaxation, heart rate slowing, breathing slowing, etc. And when unpleasant emotions are repeatedly repressed, physical stress builds and can lead to health problems.
Emotions are universal. But the specific triggers and intensity of each emotion are very individual.
Every emotion is useful.
| Emotion Family and its usefulness | Example |
|---|---|
| Happiness boosts creativity and collaboration | Brainstorming as a group |
| Fear focuses our attention onto the details | Looking over your resume for typos |
| Anger motivates us to speak up | Deciding to tell your manager you cannot answer emails after work hours |
| Sadness helps us let go | Accepting you won’t get a promotion |
| (Healthy) Shame helps us realign our actions with our values | Pronouncing a coworker’s name correctly |
Emotions usually pass once they’re fully felt and acknowledged. If a feeling persists for a while, psychologists would call that a “mood.”
For example, in a meeting, Imani calls her coworker, Laura, “sensitive.” Even though Imani means it as a compliment, Laura hears it as an insult and gets annoyed. Imani continues to praise Laura’s work, but Laura’s brain is no longer listening. Laura cuts her off, saying, “This is a waste of time,” and moves on to the next agenda item.