We can continue this exercise by assuming the other person did not have malicious intent, also known as “giving benefit of the doubt.” People’s actions may hurt us, but that doesn’t mean they intended to cause harm.

Remind yourself that their behavior might not be about you.

What are other reasons they might have acted that way?

“Why Marcus might have said no:
– About to give a big presentation
– Late for a meeting
– Just got bad news from his boss”

It doesn’t matter if Carmen’s guesses are correct. By having empathy for Marcus, she is challenging her judgments and assumptions about him. This helps her not to take his actions personally.

Now Carmen has options for next steps. She brainstorms some ideas:

“I could:
– Check in with Marcus about his communication style
– Send him an email with my question
– Try to ask him in the break room instead
– Schedule a meeting”

Suggestion for leaders

Give benefit of the doubt to employees who miss work. Maybe their babysitter fell through or they lost power during a storm. Check in with them and ask how they’re doing. Try to be flexible and supportive. Your empathy will significantly boost goodwill and trust.