Without seeing someone’s body language or hearing the warmth in their voice, online communication can cause miscommunication very easily. Friendliness, intention, and clarity are the first things to go.
People subconsciously take in nonverbal communication (body language and tone of voice), which affect how included, respected, and appreciated they feel.
Because video calls and online messaging remove most or all of nonverbal communication, we have to make more of an effort to get our tone and intention across.
Small but impactful ways to improve online communication:
Video calls
What you’re working against:
- The other person can’t see your full body language
- Lack of eye contact
- Delays in response time
How to improve video calls:
- Make sure your hands are visible when gesturing so that people can see your gestures.
- Pause for a few seconds between comments or slides to give them a chance to process. It may feel awkward on a video call, but you would naturally do this in person.
- Sit up or lean slightly forward to show interest in what they are saying.
- Because it’s hard to differentiate between whether you are looking at the screen or the other person, let them know when you pause to do things on your computer (jot down notes, search online, pull up a window, etc.) so that they don’t assume you are distracted or don’t care.
Online messages and emails
What you’re working against:
- No body language, no tone of voice
- Expectation that you will respond quickly
How to improve messaging and emailing:
- If reading a message or email makes you react, don’t respond right away. Manage the emotions first, then respond when you’re ready, even if it’s an hour later.
- Have important conversations on video or in person.
- Make an effort to show politeness. Say “please” and “thank you” more, use appropriate emojis, and show appreciation.
- Reread what you wrote to check how it might be received and that it is clearly written.
- A message like “I need the spreadsheet by EOD tomorrow” could be read with any tone. It could be interpreted as curt, demanding, or matter-of-fact. A friendlier tone might be, “Hi, can you please send me the budgeting spreadsheet by EOD tomorrow?”
- Preface statements with “I think,” so it’s clear that your idea is presented as your opinion and not as a fact.
- For example, “I think that this is the best next step,” instead of “This is the best next step.”
- Show consideration by asking for their thoughts, reactions, and information:
- “I would love to hear your thoughts.” / “What do you think?”
- “Would it be okay to…” / “Does that work for you?”
- “Is there anything I’m missing?”
- Share your intentions, thought process, or emotions (when appropriate).
- The receiver will be less likely to make incorrect assumptions and get upset.
- Examples:
- “I’m checking because my boss will ask me.”
- “My thinking is that if we do it now, we’ll be able to make adjustments as we go.”
- “I’m unsure when I should be doing this task.”
- Reflect back emotions or experiences of the other person.
- When the reply doesn’t acknowledge their concerns, they may not feel heard or understood. Reflecting back in messaging is a great way to build trust and rapport through smaller interactions.
- For example, “Sounds like the instructions I gave you are confusing?”
- Avoid sarcasm.
- Without tone, it could easily be misunderstood and taken literally.
- Avoid criticism in group messages or large forums.
- If possible, change your online “status” to Busy or Away when you are concentrating or away from your computer.
- Then you can silence notifications to help you focus.
- And it lets people know you won’t respond right way.
- Give them a heads up if there is going to be a delay in your response.
- They might make assumptions about your intentions, such as “You’re avoiding me” or “You don’t care” or “You’re upset with me.”